tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-107620232024-03-14T11:45:46.307+11:00Into My RealmStarted as a flicker, meant to be a flame.
Skin has gotten thicker but it burns the same.Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.comBlogger166125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-69025137221942302772009-03-30T12:10:00.004+11:002009-03-30T13:18:03.067+11:00Seeing past the green<span style="font-size:85%;">Life's a little different when you have some greens rolling in the bank. That tension from your shoulders eases away and you can breathe a soft sigh and wipe a bit of financial worries from your plate - if at least for a while.<br />I do appreciate and acknowledge the meaning behind it all and there is certain level of happiness you receive from it. Only a certain level though.<br />I don't believe that it could ever really buy you true happiness. Sure, having a new pair of shoes (check out what I'm eyeing below!) can send you into bouts of ecstasy or even that new laptop. There is a certain amount of freedom that comes with it but I would be foolish to assume that this is IT and that it is forever.<br /><br />At the end of the day, I'm still left with me and true peace </span><span style="font-size:85%;">and change really comes from within. I still collect vouchers and Buy-1-get-1-free coupons, I still look around for cheap bargains and I'm delighted to find a 50 cent coin in that tight corner pocket of your jeans. I really can't help it, it's ingrained within me. I'm one of those many people out there who've had to struggle and learn the value of money the hard way.<br />That is why I do not believe that I am lucky. <span style="font-style: italic;">Please refrain from saying such words to me - even if you are thinking it or if you are green with envy (no pun intended!).</span><br />I have bled so hard for the bling bling and precious time has been given up - I think I have paid out my dues.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:85%;">So please remember me.. that I'm still that girl who's quite happy to be stomping around in her faded jeans and a casual top (ok ok.. maybe with Manolos on) and coveting that oh-so-yummy $4.95 blueberry cheese cake slice at Starbucks. </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnvf-r2SN9Gb6NMScVAoXrpe9e48wWlMuKRXsbQ3mvT-EWIprS8KJs5ASKTC2irnZNd-waftL4mt-fyiEEJu1oM35bukRmVWhMU45PPogftw_V81HhTG5qP1jTQvXWUg6hszOqQ/s1600-h/manolo-rocks.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 312px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnvf-r2SN9Gb6NMScVAoXrpe9e48wWlMuKRXsbQ3mvT-EWIprS8KJs5ASKTC2irnZNd-waftL4mt-fyiEEJu1oM35bukRmVWhMU45PPogftw_V81HhTG5qP1jTQvXWUg6hszOqQ/s320/manolo-rocks.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318799180258457506" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8bZxaSCDZqDebPKp5vwm8HMxZf4ZzC2sB7nTrZ52sI-amy4UBSofrUpLAMV6gjUhIydAEBF0bd4nidW2imm2tQA1a70xD1Fy8RvVDhDPhgeFFSEJZ-WDuGwnZwWREil2Irekhqw/s1600-h/manolo2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8bZxaSCDZqDebPKp5vwm8HMxZf4ZzC2sB7nTrZ52sI-amy4UBSofrUpLAMV6gjUhIydAEBF0bd4nidW2imm2tQA1a70xD1Fy8RvVDhDPhgeFFSEJZ-WDuGwnZwWREil2Irekhqw/s320/manolo2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5318798925812110978" border="0" /></a></div>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-9525375314146907512009-03-01T12:40:00.003+11:002009-03-01T12:55:15.609+11:00Home again?<span style="font-size:85%;">I prayed as I walked into church today. I prayed and I felt a measure of calm wash over me - something that almost always happen whenever I'm there. There were no visions, no angels singing, none of that dramatic spiritual epiphanies. Just a feeling of peace. Something tight and hard in myself dissolved away and I took it as a good sign that I'm not completely condemned.<br />That maybe I might have a chance against the long road ahead.<br /><br />But a part of me was skeptical. God doesn't always save someone. Often just helps you live through the loss <span style="font-style: italic;">(although you really don't feel like that when you're grieving)</span>.<br />I guess I don't entirely trust God. I never doubt Him or His existence, but his motives are just too beyond me. Through a thick dark glass.<br /><br />And for once, at least in regards to that incident, I'd like to see through the damn glass clearly.<br /><br />But despite all my doubts and annoyance, I really do miss going to church.<br />I just felt much too tainted to be there for a time.<br /><br />Maybe I'm feeling less tainted. Maybe?<br />Or maybe I've just cracked and I'm back to hoping and praying.<br /></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-73934667522273328222009-02-28T12:07:00.000+11:002009-03-01T12:39:19.797+11:00Flamed<span style="font-size:85%;">Sometimes if you're lucky, someone comes into your life who'll take up a place in your heart that no one else can quite fill adequately, someone who's tighter than a twin, more with you than your own shadow and someone who gets deeper under your skin than your own blood and bones.<br /><br />He gets deep under mine.<br /><br />And I feel ready to finally rest on something that's so solid and real.<br />No A---, I've been thinking about what you said and I don't think I need to look into someone's eyes to see love or be in love. I feel loved right now despite the distance.<br /><br />We're not perfect. What we have needs adjustment - we need to adjust to each other and really find our rhythm. Time will probably help us - combined with our effort.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I hope he is and becomes what I need him to be. And I hope that I am what he needs as well. </span><br /><br />Until then, I'll be burning.<br /></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-66968478774183289832008-11-09T18:39:00.004+11:002008-11-09T21:12:18.274+11:00And it goes "Thump Thump Thump"<span style="font-size:85%;">Poop.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>"But I want to go further than that. I want to be closer.. to you."</em></span><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;">"<em>No way will I ever bring my barriers down. I will never be so stupid."</em></span></div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">"But there's something I keep longing for. Every damn day."</span></em><br /><div align="right"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">"If I get confused, I may never talk to you again. I can never give my heart out."</span></em></div><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>" That's the first thing I'm gonna do when I see you.</em> "</span><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;">"<em>I would even kiss the cleaner - I don't have to like her - I just like kissing."</em></span></div><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I have to figure out the truth from the lies. And I need to do it soon. Before it's too late..</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><del>Please don't play with me. Please. If you really mean what you say, you're gonna have to prove it to me.</del> </span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-7071468805523650772008-10-09T17:57:00.002+11:002008-10-09T18:02:20.587+11:00Death and Dying<span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe I'm in denial. Maybe the tears will come later. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe in 3 months when I'm in Perth watching her wither away will I start to feel immensely.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">For now.. I think I'll go for a mammogram. Just in case.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-60122869570414485392008-10-06T21:36:00.003+11:002008-10-06T21:56:49.141+11:00Ring Ring..<span style="font-size:85%;">Oh Hi..</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">It's been a while, hey?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Yes I'm good. And yourself? Great!</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">*silence*</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>Voiceover: There was a time when I would have been thrilled to hear from you - I would have probably tried to engage you in a witty conversation (maybe flirt a little) and be eager to hear where you're at. Hmm. Not anymore though.</em></span><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Well you see.. you had my heart at some point in time. But you broke it. More than broke it. You crushed it to dust. And I bled. I mourned and mourned for you until I thought I would just die from it. Yadda Yadda.</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">But I didn't die -Insert Name Here-, I got over you and moved on with my life (that was a while back in case you didn't know). </span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">I kinda like who I am now and there's no going back for me. So if you're thinking differently, you're really wasting your time. </span></em><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You missed me huh? Hmm. I wonder what I should have for dinner..</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Listen I'm going out now so I'll catch you around? Okay. Bye! </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>Voiceover: You won't ever have me again. And what you won't have - what you tossed aside - would have nearly been the best thing in your life. And no that's not my ego talking and you know it don't ya? Which is probably why you keep playing these games. But I refuse to take the bait this time. I'm actually quite bored and uninterested - so, without sounding too bitchy, go find someone else.</em></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-28932771619113644372008-09-16T23:49:00.002+10:002008-09-17T00:31:14.992+10:00Wham Bam.. Okay.. Then?<span style="font-size:85%;">I hate surprises. Honestly, I do. Part of being a control freak I guess. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">But I shouldn't complain. I have been wanting to know - and the truth comes with a price.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">One minute, I'm stumbling around and fiddling with my damn backpack and the next I look up and see him right infront of me and the next... he just walks on by despite me waving- not batting an eyelash (I assume behind those sunnies).</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And the world just stops; you just can't breathe and you just can't move.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And there are some truths and losses that that just slice you to bits and shatter your spirit.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">But you'd still go on and you'd remake yourself.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I'm okay. I'm... okay.</span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-57241857267841138832008-08-31T18:39:00.003+10:002008-08-31T18:43:29.661+10:00Just do it<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;">Please just give me an answer.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;">You're driving me crazy with your silence.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;">A thousand Nos would probably ache much less.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:85%;">Please just do it already. Get it over and done with.</span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-59759326847924694062008-07-27T19:17:00.014+10:002008-07-27T22:10:23.461+10:00The longest 5 minutes<span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">8.30pm.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I walked out today and stood by the letterbox.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">By myself.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I survived.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I'm gonna do it again tomorrow.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And the next day.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And the next...</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And the next......</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Until I shake no more.</span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-31881118182673794412008-07-27T19:17:00.011+10:002008-07-27T22:02:35.903+10:00Priceless moments - Sydney escapade<em><span style="font-size:85%;">Coogee Beach. Suze-ball. "You need to take deep breaths dar, you can't go out looking like this". Weird onions. Twelve perfect minutes of wind on the sea. La La La La La. Comfortable laps on the train. Bingeing on carrot sticks, chilli tuna, crackers and dip. The hug that squeezed the life back into me in the corridor. Gunilla and Doug. Tuna baked rice, meatloaf and sweet potato mash on my carpet. Being right on vapour-rub. Hand holding after a nightmare. Po Chai Pills. Coffee? freakout. Maggie the magpie and the bald dance instructor. Pancakes and stepping stones. Red noses, snorts, snores and coughs. 10.15 am heartattack and two loud fucks in the morning. Hugging, walking and shaking down THAT street in the rain. Champagne Toasts. Double hugs at the airport. Beckie's Boing boing curls and imitations of bug-eyed Kunna. The pilgrim walk and revelations. Dory's rampage. Boysenberry ice-cream and gross vegie chips. Holding hands with the two of them and walking without a care. "Meh". Blood Brothers. Singing the Pink Panther theme in the tunnel. Snuggling together with Shu in the morning. Being high on nasal spray. A good night's rest. </span></em>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-70391165613726818522008-07-27T19:17:00.003+10:002008-07-27T21:03:01.987+10:00Enough... enough now.<span style="font-size:85%;">I'm waiting in my room - waiting for the tears that refuse to come; for the overwhelming depression to take over but damn it it's not here. I'm confused - I expected things to go back the way it was. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>They're still here.</em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Everytime I look at my floor - I think of them. And smile. Everytime I step into the kitchen, I chuckle. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>They're still here.</em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">--</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I stepped out in the morning today - and I felt a little different. </span><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I don't really know what's changed. And I don't really know how it happened. All I know is that I'm walking a little slower - looking around and breathing in the fresh air and sights. Pausing every now and then at a nice spot; contemplating on possible picnic locations.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">It's really not so bad outside. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I don't really want to hide indoors anymore - not when there's plenty of beaches to laze around at. And museums to spend a day in. And horses to ride off into the wilderness with. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I don't believe in the goodness of humans (not most of them anyway) - but I've seen the beauty of nature and animals. And it's enough to want to sample it every day. It's enough to want to live. Just enough to want to pick up.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I'm not ready to move on; but I'm ready to walk again. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Just a little bit. </span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-25154203805812185062008-06-29T13:04:00.002+10:002008-06-29T13:27:11.538+10:00Looking inwards<span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I've been thinking about Macquarie's writing competition and I want desperately to write about something, something that burns - but I'm stumped. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I don't know what's important to me - I don't know what matters to me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I don't know what's in my heart - I don't know if it's worth reading.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And I shudder to think that academics and great scholars will be joining this competition - no doubt they'd have some great spiel written, they'll produce great works of art. And I'll probably drown amidst the great sea of brilliance.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I am after all really really small. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">It's not about winning though - okay not entirely. You know me. I love competitions. I can't quite resist.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I just feel I need to release some part of me - buried so deep.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">There's at least one song within in each of us - I've just forgotten all of mine. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Someone please remind me.. what is mine? What is me?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-15389808055452881132008-06-16T13:56:00.002+10:002008-06-16T14:01:26.361+10:00I begin to dance just a little bit..<span style="font-size:85%;">Okay.. so it seems like I'm about to have my break.. =)</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Final interview.. I'm cool, calm and confident. Must exude confidence - must be perfect. I'm calm.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Very calm.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I'm a rock - very steady... WOOHOO!</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">*ahem* yes.. rock. Think of rocks Sera... </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-70352569379050250722008-06-11T20:14:00.005+10:002008-06-13T16:40:39.438+10:00Bitter sweet ending..<span style="font-size:85%;">I hate goodbyes. Never liked them.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">But I've had to part with the one guy who's earned my respect - the one guy who's tried to protect me as much as he could..one who believed in me even though I never asked him to. It's hard.. knowing I can't turn to him anymore. Hard knowing I will never hear words of enouragement, advice, nods, epiphanies, genuine care and concern and plain old bugsiness.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I knew it would end someday.. I just wish I was a little bit better - more deserving of pride.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I wish I had someone like him in my life - patient till the very end. So here's to John *raises toast* I wish I could return the favour..</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-63008840198040387852008-06-11T20:14:00.004+10:002008-06-12T19:08:46.841+10:00Pregnant Man??!<span style="font-size:85%;">This is just plain weird..<br /><br />I think I need a drink..</span><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4581943">Pregnant Man!</a>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-43213670466788816072008-06-11T20:14:00.003+10:002008-06-11T20:24:56.019+10:00Ermm.. crap.. I've won?<span style="font-size:85%;">What in the world am I to do now?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I wasn't supposed to win damn it.. yea so I did read up on all the legislation acts and I did call the Australian Psychological Society just to be sure, and not to mention (in a fit of emotional outburst), I did complete an internal review form and sent an email to the manager but still! </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I expected it to be difficult.. I expected to be denied!</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Sometimes winning isn't all that fun.. oh poop. I don't think I even wanted to win in the first place (well not completely anyway), I'm beginning to realise that I just wanted to rant and rave..</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Friday's going to be one hell of a day I tell you.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-36512441583557924322008-06-02T14:45:00.004+10:002008-06-11T20:23:13.950+10:00Rather be broken than afraid<span style="font-size:85%;"><em>"I'm hanging on to another day</em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>Just to see what you will throw my way</em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>And I'm hanging on to the words you say</em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>You said that I will</em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>I will be okay"</em></span><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-56453213650064143992008-05-02T15:56:00.006+10:002008-06-11T20:24:13.859+10:00Loving Ponky<span style="font-size:85%;">Why do you live? What is your reason? What is your reason for living? Is it your family or your spouse? Is that the right reason to keep breathing? What if they're dead and gone? What then? Is your reason to live gone as well?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I don't want to live for anyone. I want to live for me. Trouble is.. what is it that I'm living for?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">It's a question only I can answer.. so I'm still thinking. And wondering.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I want to know the reason, the secret, the answer at the back of my head - the answer for the demons. I want to stop hurting. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">The funny thing is that when someone you love so much is hurting and reaches out to you, you completely forget your own hurts (temporarily) and can't help but run to help. You can't help but love.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">It's so much easier to fight for someone else than to fight yourself. And I really mean yourself.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe it's reason enough to keep trying, maybe love will save me - in the sense that it will help me struggle through and find the answers on my own while I'm in this hell of mine.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe love will save me. Just maybe.</span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-62545371701195889092008-05-01T03:56:00.000+10:002008-05-02T16:20:57.893+10:00Stabbing the inner demon named "Lie"<span style="font-size:85%;">Dear Lie</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You suck</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You said you could fix anything</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Instead I'm fucked</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You made things even worse for me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">If I had balls I'd tell you get away from me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Guess I'm not smart</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I let you unnerve me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I let you control me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Afraid the truth will hurt me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">When it's you that hurts me more</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Get outta my mouth</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Get outta my head</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Get outta my mind</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Stop putting words in my head</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Get outta my mouth</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You're nothing but trouble</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Get outta my life</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Get out of me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Out of me out of me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Dear Lie</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You're dumb</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You think you've got the best of me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You think you've won</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Misread my vulnerablitity</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I've got your walls</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Now get the hell away from me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I've learned your art</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Won't let you unnerve me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Won't let you control me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">The truth will only free me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And your lies will hurt no </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">No more</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Get outta my mouth<br />Get outta my head<br />Get outta my mind<br />Stop putting words in my head<br />Get outta my mouth<br />You're nothing but trouble<br />Get outta my life<br />Get out of me<br />Out of me out of me</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:78%;">"Dear Lie" - TLC </span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">Watch Video</span></div><div align="center"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0FpldM5g6I">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0FpldM5g6I</a></div><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-56920368521791233212008-03-12T23:03:00.002+11:002008-03-12T23:06:32.957+11:00My last one<span style="font-size:85%;">To all of YOU: How can you give me so much, so so much and take away even more?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I guess time has given me my answer.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">To all my readers - known and unknown - thank you for listening to this female pour out some of her soul. I hope life treats you better than it has for me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Goodnight. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-35987120559980950622008-02-24T18:08:00.002+11:002008-02-24T18:14:56.957+11:00Watched<span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Juliet (to Davis): Take a good look around at all of our friends. Go on.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Davis: Ok.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Juliet: Now you won't know when and you won't know who, but I'm going to take one of them as my lover and I'm going to do thing with him that would curl your toes. And then I'm going to end it and you and I can start over with a clean slate.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">---</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;">Pilot Episode : Cashmere Mafia</span></div><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;">God I loved the fire in her eyes when she said that just after having her heart shatterd just a few hours ago.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;">I love this new show. </span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;">I don't know how or why - but it's evoked something in me - screaming for a fight.</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;">*grooves as she listens to "All eyes on me - Letoya Luckett"</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span> </div>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-80656633986973710032008-02-09T09:32:00.002+11:002008-02-10T17:27:25.534+11:00Fraud and Crimes<span style="font-size:85%;">When your world gets smaller and smaller.. what do you do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">When roles are reversed, which makes you hurt even more, what do you do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">When you used to be the beacon of hope, when you know hope is all gone, what do you do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">When you're not independent anymore, every single aspect, something you thought would never happen - financially - what do you do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">When the people you thought you could always trust, you could always let in, always be there and support you, betrays you, what do you do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">When all else fails, and you look into yourself, you look into "the burning one", "Uryale", Seraphina "the fiery angel with burning six wings, and you realise that there's no more fire.. not even a spark.. what do you do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And when you see that only one path remain, one way out, and you know with all your mind and heart and soul that it's not one you should take.. but the temptation is far too strong.. what do you do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">What will I do? </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Only hours, minutes, seconds away... time will tell.</span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-17139050673387988372008-02-09T09:32:00.001+11:002008-02-09T09:45:57.572+11:00This is me now<span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Over my shoulder, running away, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Feels like i'm falling, losing my way. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Cold and dry, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Cold and dry. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Fog out my daylight, torture my night. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Feels like i'm falling, far out of sight. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Cold, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Drunk, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Tired, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Lost. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Over my shoulder, running away, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Feels like i’m falling, losing my way. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Cold, dry, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Cold and dry. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Fog out my daylight, torture my night. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Feels like i'm falling, far out of sight. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Cold, Drunk,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Cold and drunk.</span>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-11311015791129079922008-02-09T09:32:00.000+11:002008-02-09T09:41:21.311+11:00Dedication<span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way you left me,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I'm not pretending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No hope, no love, no glory,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No Happy Ending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way that we love,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Like it's forever.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Then live the rest of our life,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">But not together.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Can't get no love without sacrifice</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the hardest story that I've ever told</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No hope, or love, or glory</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Happy endings gone forever more</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I feel as if I feel as if I'm wasted</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">And I'm wastin' everyday</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way you left me,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I'm not pretending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No hope, no love, no glory,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No Happy Ending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way that we love,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Like it's forever.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Then live the rest of our life,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">But not together.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I can think that we just carried on</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the hardest story that I've ever told</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No hope, or love, or glory</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Happy endings gone forever more</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I feel as if I feel as if I'm wasted</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">And I'm wastin' everyday</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way you left me,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I'm not pretending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No hope, no love, no glory,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No Happy Ending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way that we love,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Like it's forever.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Then live the rest of our life,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">But not together.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">A Little bit of love, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">little bit of love</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Little bit of love, </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">little bit of love</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I feel as if I'm wasted</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">And I'm wastin' everyday</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way you left me,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">I'm not pretending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No hope, no love, no glory,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No Happy Ending.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">This is the way that we love,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">Like it's forever.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">To live the rest of our life,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">But not together.</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:78%;">Mika - Happy Ending</span></div>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10762023.post-67159105933629274222008-02-03T19:02:00.000+11:002008-02-03T19:16:01.460+11:00Behind Brown Eyes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZjxTsknp3qZJ_ye6CHQhXVSN8Cw6zf97NLDhuqGWYTI_iBpsbhUkntTzDbfuNLUWjFZcOfdABwTSUbFkSv8Y_TzanaJxj5s42w9y_fV4ytlcPko8whCGOgtt0pNxDIxCIH7HlOw/s1600-h/final.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5162664702422075026" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZjxTsknp3qZJ_ye6CHQhXVSN8Cw6zf97NLDhuqGWYTI_iBpsbhUkntTzDbfuNLUWjFZcOfdABwTSUbFkSv8Y_TzanaJxj5s42w9y_fV4ytlcPko8whCGOgtt0pNxDIxCIH7HlOw/s320/final.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9n-G8fafg5E7p26GtfVuLjwGRDrAVu80yejwa9IRSpx_ih4AF_GAyVp7BSkve4lHscoTyHdP4noOfjGikH06aCy2L3ryoBpSGrb-s1_B-yO_Rfgcnhzz7quKbzA0YoidEWN1jlg/s1600-h/final.JPG"></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:85%;">No one knows what it's like</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">To be the bad woman</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">To be the sad woman</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Behind brown eyes</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And no one knows</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">What it's like to be hated</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">To be fated to telling only lies</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">But my dreams aren't as empty</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">As my conscience seems to be</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I have hours, only lonely</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">My love is vengence</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">That's never free</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">No one knows what it's like</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">To feel these feelings</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Like I do, and I blame you!</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">No one bites back as hard</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">On their anger</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">None of my pain and woe</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Can show through</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">No one knows like it's like</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">To be mistreated, to be defeated</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Behind brown eyes</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;">No one knows how to say </span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;">That they're sorry and don't worry</span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;">I'm not telling lies.</span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="right"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">No one knows.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:85%;">Behind brown eyes.</span></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-size:78%;"></span></em></div><br /><div align="right"><em><span style="font-size:78%;"></span></em></div><br /><div align="right"><em><span style="font-size:78%;"></span></em></div><br /><div align="right"><em><span style="font-size:78%;">-Edited Lyrics from Limp Bizkit</span></em></div></div>Uryalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00292523059156838658noreply@blogger.com1