Thursday, April 13, 2006

Moment in the eye

What's in a smile, in a laugh, in a moment in time when someone says something that strikes you as funny, and you begin to laugh prematurely with that hyper acute yet atypical sense of humour that has never stood you in good stead - and you realise that he has started to laugh as well?

What's in minor moments of mutuality that mean nothing on their own - liking the same foods, disliking the same aspects of people, and a country, thinking the same thoughts - being asked if you were thinking and knowing that, that was no question but rather an observation? Moments that suddenly become so important, you never thought it was possible.

Maybe it takes time to develop with friendships with most people, yet with a few - almost as if we are near duplicates of some celestial template - it flares up instantaneously from the first conversation.

Perhaps we can't help turning and looking that person in the eye at that precise instant; perhaps we can't help but laugh or be struck by odd similarities.
Perhaps we can't help but connect.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

State of Sang-froid

I seriously wish there were more than 24 hours a day. Really! How do you expect to get much done in those hours?
Do you know how many books there are in the library? How in the world are you ever going to finish all of them?
Okay.. I know this sounds weird but I was just wondering if it was humanely possible to finish reading every book (worth reading anyway) in the world in your lifetime on earth?

Hmm. It'll be such a waste if you couldn't though. That there're so many things that you don't know about.

Anyway, here I am typing a post when I should be studying. Sigh, the opportunity cost of blogging is really high (okay, so maybe I'm reading too much into economics but I'm seriously interested in it; especially Game Theory. I might do a minor in that. Maybe)

I hate doing group assignments. I'd rather do it on my own. I really don't like having to rely on other people. I want to do my own work so if I screw up, I can blame myself. Also, I would only permit myself to blame myself. I get furious if others try to blame me or put me down or take credit for what I've done.
It's not that I don't get along with Faz and Hoomun. They're nice guys, a little last minute, but nice. Hoomun's likes to banter with me. I don't know why, he seems to like to annoy me and tease me.
It's okay in the beginning, I'm game for it but after a while it gets... annoying and a little hurtful.
But still. I get along with them, but I'd really rather be on my own. At least where work is concerned.

I went out with Lorraine the other day during our lunch break. We were hunting for a nice top for her to wear to a party and she was really pleased with my choice, heh. It was fun.
But it feels a little weird because I know she likes hanging out with me, but deep down I know I'm holding back.
She's very touchy-feely. Sometimes she'll link her arm around mine or give me half hugs from the side. I don't mind it; but I don't really respond back.
It's funny, I know I'm an affectionate person but... just not with her.
I should shake myself, shouldn't I?
I know what I'm doing but I can't stop myself.
Somehow I just don't..... feel.

Oh yeah, I forgot. I've got Aikido later on. Yay. Speaking of which, I have to comment on something, but I'll do so on my next post.
My semester break is next week... I'll have one week off. I'm thinking of going to the Easter Carnival. It looks like fun. I have to study too though. My exams are in 6 weeks!

I'm feeling quite calm. Too calm. I'm busy outside but inside... I'm just.. calm.

Hah. You know, I'm going to look back on this post and laugh to myself. I'm just plain weird.

Can I get something off my chest though? I promised myself that I wouldn't think or talk about Anton but I feel like I have to. We were originally in the same Econs lecture but yesterday he changed his Econs tutorial to my class! The reason being, he wanted to have a proper break during the day.. something to do with his timetable.
This is not good!
So anyway, we seem to have the weirdest things in common!!

We were (Melissa, Pav, Robert, Anton and of course me) chatting during our lecture break. Favourite desserts came up and I was telling everyone that I'm craving for a banana muffin with ice cream on the top of it and Anton just finished my sentence! He was like yeah.. especially with cookies and cream or chocolate ice-cream... but the muffin has to be nice and warm so the ice-cream just melts slowly into it.
I was so stunned! Like how in the world could that have happened? He barely knows me! And here he is finishing off my sentences.
And get this.. we're both neat freaks... well actually just extremes. And he arranges his room table the exact same way as mine! (E.g. Stationery on a particular side, files and folders and all). God.. there's so many little things that we have in common, it's weird.
I hate and love that this is happening.