Sunday, February 19, 2006

Into dust

I've been having weird dreams lately.
In one, I was in my old house with my mom, brother, sister, Uncle Eddie, Shu and Beckie. And each were taking turns to get possessed and I remember being freaked out and telling my brother not to believe the nonsense that were coming out of their mouths.. when he suddenly turned to me with his eyes red and this sick grin on his face. I don't remember much of it, but I woke feeling very disturbed.
Then last night, I had a dream that Shu, Beckie and I were playing this "Bubble" game arcade thing where the biggest bubble at the end of 3 minutes win. At the beginning, it was Beckie's that was the biggest (hers was pink), followed by mine (purple) and Shu's the smallest(orange). We kept picking on Shu, destroying her bubble by sucking the air out of it when suddenly Shu persuades me with a Snickers bar to help her. I change sides! And we started attacking Beckie and at the end of the 3 minutes, Beckie's the smallest. Then I wake up.


On another note.

What is it with people? Do they expect you to be their punching bag and let you be target to snappish behaviour just because they're having a headache? Does that give them any right to behave that way?
It's funny how our relationship can come crashing down the drain by just a few words that she throws out.

I may be guilty of a lot of things, but not of being selfish. I really don't think so. Yeah I know I may be difficult or stubborn or whatever, there are a lot flaws in me, but I honestly don't think selfish is one of them. At least not my whole life, as you said so. Just because I say 'no' (and I have every right to do so) doesn't mean that I am. Am I supposed to keep saying yes to every of your whims and fancies?
I've always thought of her and of course him and have tried my best to give them what they should have. I know what I think and I know deep down who I am and what I'm guilty of.
I don't have to prove to you what I am or am not.

Maybe I should just leave things the way it is. I don't want to have to try so hard and have myself be put through such pain and caustic words. It really isn't worth it. I don't mind fighting. I know every relationship or friendship goes through such rough spots, but I don't think it should be this way and I shouldn't have to put up with this.The buck stops here.

Monday, February 06, 2006



I couldn't find a word to describe how I'm feeling today. I'm happy, happy! Firstly, I'm 50kg! Major achievement! I can fit into my old hipster jeans!! I still have quite a way to go, I must achieve my desired weight and figure.
But it's just good to see results. Ya know?

Secondly, my brother's secured a place in University. Finally. I thought he wouldn't make this intake, considering that he applied really late and all. I'm glad for him and myself. It's going to be some nice healthy competition. Hehe.

And, there's more... I'll be starting my licence in March! How cool is that!! Heh. I'm hoping to save enough money to get my own car by the end of the year. It'd be second-hand but I don't mind, it'll be my baby!
I'm waiting to get my timetable first, then I'll plan out my lessons.

House is back too. I absolutely love that show. And the OC.

Let me go all feminine and out of topic by saying that The Skin Doctor's Fade Away is really good for scars, pigmentation and stretch marks. It really works on me.

Oh and I had a haircut. It's quite short now, think Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls. It's quite cool, I can either go for the curls effect or the straight bob thing.

Ahh.. the simple pleasures of life. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to indulge myself in a nice chocolate and a good book.

P.S. Aporto's chilli chicken is yummy!

Saturday, February 04, 2006


I used to be proud of the fact that I can string proper coherent sentences together without much of a glitch. But then obviously my writing style - if any- does not compare and rival the cutthroat world of journalism - just a thought.

The days are mad, mad, mad.

I have so many useless thoughts rolling around in my mind and I'm just too lazy and tired to churn them into words.

That makes me so mad and so sad. I'm smad.

Hmm.. smad. Has a nice ring to it yea?

I think Whiskey is a nice name for a dog.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

In the Dark of the Night..

evil will find her! ~ In the Dark of the Night, Anastasia

Heh. I don't know why, I had a dream about that song. It was as though I was watching that movie in my mind and now I can't seem to get it out of my head.


Why do we look at an image? What do you see? A photograph (for example) triggers some sort of symbolic reaction, despite its much vaunted connection to supposed reality, sometimes it reaches beyond logic.
Sometimes, however, it brings dark to light, make the hidden seen.

I couldn't sleep last night so I started looking through some of my old stuff. I came across two pictures of myself when I was young. Two very rare and completely different sides of me. I decided to post it, just for fun.
What do you see?