Thursday, March 23, 2006


Time really whizzes by. One minute I'm at the orientation, nervous as hell and the next minute, I'm plunged into so much of work and moving so fast.

And at this point, while I'm busy running this paper chase, pulling in long nights and everything else - I wonder if I'm losing anything as each minute passes. 10 years down the road, am I going to look back at this moment and say "Hey.. I should have chilled out and let loose for a while".
But I feel I can't afford to let loose, I can't afford to make any mistakes because this is the one chance I've got and I'm milking it for all its worth.
Lorraine asked me last week to go to this social pub in Hornsby on Friday; just near myhouse. It was a night thing; it would have gone on till around midnight or one. She seems quite taken in with me and eager to introduce me to the "Hornsby people". And what was most surprising was that my mom was okay with it. (But then again, if she kicked a fuss, I'd really have something to say about it. Gone are the days where she can cage me up).
I don't know. I was so conflicted. One part of me wanted to go and the other thought I was jumping in too fast. I don't want to put myself in an undesirable situation. Sadly, there're only a few people I really trust to go out like that with and they're not here.
In end I didn't. Mainly because I had a lot of work to do and I figured that my work was my priority. Maybe some other time. When I feel I'm ready. Besides, to be honest, I think I've seen so much of "pub life", that the thought of it sickens me. I haven't forgotten.

School life's pretty okay. Here, you really have to be "buddies" with your lecturers to get ahead. Not that I'm sucking up to them or anything. Just that I'm willing to work hard as well as let them KNOW that I'm working hard.
I don't like being manipulative. Really I don't. But I find that I have a certain knack of getting into the "good books" with tutors and teachers. As I used to be one (for a while anyway) I know what they like in a student and I'm making full use of it. Basically, I know I can charm the socks off them. I can use a certain amount of wits and knowledge to get them intrigued and willing to go that extra mile for me. And the knowledge of that just makes me sick.
I need my teachers to be on my side. So that I could learn as much as I can and get them to be my referees in my scholarship application.
The only thing that comforts me is that I'm not really resorting to desperate measures like using my physical appearance or worse my body to get what I want.
But still, I don't like being manipulative. Am I bitchy for being this way?

On another note, I was watching Rabbit Proof Fence and boy was it a terribly sad true story about the history of Australia. During the 19oo-1970, the "white" people were trying to eradicate the aboriginals by kidnapping their children and forcing them to marry the whites so that after 3 generations, their "colour" would be completely wiped out. And get this, it was completely legal. It's known as The Stolen Generations.

I just don't get how people can be so utterly cruel. What, you think just because your skin colour is white, that you're superior to other races? Where do they get such trashy ideals?
It's hard not to have hatred for these people.
The more I learn about humankind, the more angry and disappointed I seem to get.

Nevermind, I shall get off this topic.

Oh. Anton has a girlfriend. Pav actually asked him for his number outright in class yesterday. It's amazing how bimbotic and forthright she can be. She kinda embarrassed herself.
I don't think she's such a bad person. I think she was brought up in such a culture where she felt she needed to conform to society for her to be accepted.

Having said that. He wears absolutely gorgeous Armani cologne. Sigh.
Funny thing though, his cologne somehow got me thinking of a certain episode where I stole half a bottle of Hugo Boss from a certain "then" cute individual.
Seems like a lifetime ago.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


Stones taught me to fly,
Love, it taught me to lie,
Life taught me to die.
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly,
Love, it taught me to cry
So come on, courage,
Teach me to be shy.
Cause it's hard not to fall
And I don't wanna scare him
It's hard not to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's hard not to grow
When you know that you just don't know

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Whoah Wee

Pav likes Anton.

Oh god she likes him. She was flirting with him and trying to get close to him in class. I don't really know how I feel about it. And I don't know why I'm feeling a bit peeved about it. It's not like I really like him or even know him to begin with.

Okay, so he looks quite cute when he's a little bored and cupping his face in his hands, and he always smells good and he's so smart that you want to read up yourself so that you could try to confuse and tease him or he has this deep chuckle that makes you smile anyway and those eyes which makes you wonder what he's thinking....

Pav likes him. I'm not sure if he likes her. I wouldn't be surprised if he does end up liking her. She is pretty.


Friday, March 10, 2006

The Start of School..

Oh goodness! Updates!

Orientation was weird for me.
It started at 11.00am and I had to be late! Of all the times! Jeez. The public transport here is not reliable, honestly. Or maybe I'm such a pampered Singaporean.
Anyway, I walked into the lecture room with everyone staring at me. A perfect start really.
I was stuck with a group of REALLY shy people. How disastrous! It was so hard for me to break the ice or even speak to begin with.
The thing with me is that when I'm with people who're really reserved, I tend to mimic them. But if you're friendly and outgoing, it's easy for me to be my insane, babbly self.
So nothing much happened. Just briefings, campus tour (which wasn't much use to me because I had already explored the place) and issuing of timetables.
In a nutshell, orientation was uneventful and utterly boring.

I was actually beginning to worry if this was how my university life was going to be like. But you know, it's not too bad.
During the past few weeks, I've managed to make friends with quite a number of people. Mostly locals. I feel like I'm in between, I'm not so sure where I fit in, the asians or the locals.

But anyway. My new-found friends.

Pav, a Punjabi Austalian born girl. I like that she's on the short side, like me. Heh. She's quite okay, a little bimbotic but so far quite harmless.

Varsity, a Fiji girl (she's the epitome of height!) who's so super sweet. She makes me feel comfortable.

Melisssa (whom I didn't want to call Mel, it's just too weird for me), a funky Australian; a karate instructor and pretty down to earth and funny gal.

Tristan. This was a funny story. We were put into groups in my marketing class to discuss some theory and he was really outgoing and smart and the both of us got into a nice little discussion. And then later I find out that he's "half-Singaporean". His mom is from Singapore and his dad is of course, Australian. Heh. He started teasing me about missing hawker food! He knows his stuff.
So anyway, he's the first guy I can more or less relax around. He's a little bit of a "geek" and a good guy. Think Seth from the OC.

Anton, a really mysterious, cute handsome guy who happens to be really smart. What can I say? I'm attracted to smart intelligent guys (but not to the point where you're utterly egoistic). Now this guy, I think, is a bit like me. Can be quiet and reserved and also chatty and outgoing.
Okay okay. So I'm a teeny weeny bit attracted to him (just a bit!) and I'd like to get to know him. We'll see if that happens.

Lorraine. I love this girl's name. Lorraine Tamara Gomez. Cool huh? She's as cool as her name, seriously. Now this is one person I love hanging out with. We have a lot of things in common and I can be myself around her, mostly. At least more than the others. And the best part is that she's staying in Hornsby as well! Just a few streets away.

So yeah.

Besides new friends, I'm flooded with work!
(Well.. actually I'm not really, it's just that the perfectionist and crazy person in me wants to do everything and read so many books.)
I haven't started work yet because I've had to change my timetable and adjust a few things. But I might do so next week.

I find that there's a slight clash with the English here. Most people go by American spelling and I was brought up with the British English. I don't know. I'm not going to change my way of writing. I much prefer Cambridge English.

I know this post is pretty general but don't worry I'll be sure to go into details soon. There's just too much to write about.
Until my next one.