Sunday, June 29, 2008

Looking inwards

I've been thinking about Macquarie's writing competition and I want desperately to write about something, something that burns - but I'm stumped.
I don't know what's important to me - I don't know what matters to me.
I don't know what's in my heart - I don't know if it's worth reading.

And I shudder to think that academics and great scholars will be joining this competition - no doubt they'd have some great spiel written, they'll produce great works of art. And I'll probably drown amidst the great sea of brilliance.
I am after all really really small.

It's not about winning though - okay not entirely. You know me. I love competitions. I can't quite resist.
I just feel I need to release some part of me - buried so deep.
There's at least one song within in each of us - I've just forgotten all of mine.

Someone please remind me.. what is mine? What is me?

Monday, June 16, 2008

I begin to dance just a little bit..

Okay.. so it seems like I'm about to have my break.. =)

Final interview.. I'm cool, calm and confident. Must exude confidence - must be perfect. I'm calm.
Very calm.
I'm a rock - very steady... WOOHOO!

*ahem* yes.. rock. Think of rocks Sera...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bitter sweet ending..

I hate goodbyes. Never liked them.
But I've had to part with the one guy who's earned my respect - the one guy who's tried to protect me as much as he who believed in me even though I never asked him to. It's hard.. knowing I can't turn to him anymore. Hard knowing I will never hear words of enouragement, advice, nods, epiphanies, genuine care and concern and plain old bugsiness.

I knew it would end someday.. I just wish I was a little bit better - more deserving of pride.

I wish I had someone like him in my life - patient till the very end. So here's to John *raises toast* I wish I could return the favour..

Pregnant Man??!

This is just plain weird..

I think I need a drink..

Pregnant Man!

Ermm.. crap.. I've won?

What in the world am I to do now?

I wasn't supposed to win damn it.. yea so I did read up on all the legislation acts and I did call the Australian Psychological Society just to be sure, and not to mention (in a fit of emotional outburst), I did complete an internal review form and sent an email to the manager but still!
I expected it to be difficult.. I expected to be denied!

Sometimes winning isn't all that fun.. oh poop. I don't think I even wanted to win in the first place (well not completely anyway), I'm beginning to realise that I just wanted to rant and rave..

Friday's going to be one hell of a day I tell you.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Rather be broken than afraid

"I'm hanging on to another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will
I will be okay"