My bath-tub has become my refuge for the moment. There’s nothing like a dose of hot bubble bath to cure or at least temporarily soothe you. It’s strange, the first few moments of adjusting to that hot water, when it engulfs your body, that moment of pain feels good, so achingly real. It must have been an hour, but for that moment, everything is all right; as right as it can be in such a bloody world anyway.
But now the joy is gone and the sadness is back, the sadness that feels something like deserved. The price of some not-quite forgotten betrayal. I was lying there, thinking of this new option that was open to me, and I made my decision. Strange as it may seem, I made quite an important decision in a bath-tub.
So this is the path that has been given to me. I have to take it. At this point I can only trust myself. I’m sick of postponing my dream. I have to work and I have finally found a loophole. Hopefully, it works out.
I’m going to be working in a nursing home as an AIN (something like an assistant nurse, it's just basic patient care). I have to go for a 3 weeks’ course and then I’ll be able to start working, a working visa will be provided upon completion of the course. I’ve got in contact with this nursing agency and we’ll see how we hook up.
It’s kinda funny how I’ll be qualified in two totally different fields.
Sigh.
The things I have to do to pave my way.
I’m really not sure if this will work, but I’ll keep you updated.
In other news, at times, people just overlook you, your presence, your words, your actions, your behaviour and take you for granted. I hate that.
There are some things she just doesn’t understand about me. She told me to act my age. What she doesn’t realise is that age to me is honestly nothing but a number. I feel old, ancient and maybe at times too mature and adult. I make up for it by being silly. I try to make it balanced. I thought it was easy to figure.
But don’t judge me on something you do not know or understand about and have not yet experienced.
Sure, you don’t like having to share your space, but hey newsflash, I don’t either.
Quit tripping on me and just accept the way things are.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Just read your entry and I have something to say about it. I think some people may not like certain behaviours be it too serious or too playful, anti-social or affectionate. Maybe your personality totally contrast with hers so that is why she feels uncomfortable.
"Sure, you don’t like having to share your space, but hey newsflash, I don’t either."
This sounds like you hide it from her. How come you endure it then? I think its best to be true to your feelings and not hide your true intention.
I know. That's a problem I have... it's affected all my relationships and friendships.. in fact it still does... I tend not to say stuff.. especially the little things...
I'm sure you've noticed... for example, if I'm a little annoyed by you or feel a little left-out or awkward.. I'll just keep quiet. I don't say anything.. and if you do pick up on it and try to make me feel better, I just feel worse.
I have to work on this.
Post a Comment