Cinammon lips

Damn I’m so sexually frustrated. There. I said it.

(God.. this is so embarrassing! I made a note to myself that there are some lines I wouldn’t cross on my blog. Some things I wouldn’t talk about. I mean seriously, who wants to read about sexually frustrated slash wrought female? But that was before. Besides, they say if you write about some things in your life that you can’t control, it helps make them bearable.)

I’m changing somehow. Things are waking up in me which shouldn’t be there. I don’t want them there!

I’m having needs. More like crazy wants.
I’m a woman now (god that sounds weird), I’m suddenly experiencing so much more… feelings.
I’ve been trying not to think about it over the last couple of months but it’s building up on me. I thought if I could just channel this “sexual energy” into say, work or exercise or even food.. it might not be so bad.
After all, my wants, need or emotions should not control me.

But it’s getting worse!
The other day I was studying together with my male hot friend – I was teaching him accounts – and wham! It just hit me. I know this sounds so so silly.. but he was.. biting his lips… and I wanted to kiss him! It’s not just any kiss… just.. god it became such an urge!
Where does this come from?
I see a cute, hot guy and I feel like pouncing on him.
This is not me. I do not think of such things. They’re not…. proper.

(By the way, I kinda “ran” away from him – I stopped seeing him and tutoring him, I figured it was the best thing to do)
It’s a good thing people can’t mind-read. God the things I’m starting to think about!

Yes, you’re probably thinking biological clock in me is ticking.. but I am not a clock! I don’t tick!
There’s nothing ticking in me. I don’t need ticking.

I can’t stop this change. I know, the only way is to accept it and somehow deal with it. Properly.