Sunday, July 27, 2008

Enough... enough now.

I'm waiting in my room - waiting for the tears that refuse to come; for the overwhelming depression to take over but damn it it's not here. I'm confused - I expected things to go back the way it was.

They're still here.
Everytime I look at my floor - I think of them. And smile. Everytime I step into the kitchen, I chuckle.
They're still here.
--
I stepped out in the morning today - and I felt a little different.
I don't really know what's changed. And I don't really know how it happened. All I know is that I'm walking a little slower - looking around and breathing in the fresh air and sights. Pausing every now and then at a nice spot; contemplating on possible picnic locations.
It's really not so bad outside.

I don't really want to hide indoors anymore - not when there's plenty of beaches to laze around at. And museums to spend a day in. And horses to ride off into the wilderness with.
I don't believe in the goodness of humans (not most of them anyway) - but I've seen the beauty of nature and animals. And it's enough to want to sample it every day. It's enough to want to live. Just enough to want to pick up.
I'm not ready to move on; but I'm ready to walk again.


Just a little bit.

No comments: