Monday, November 13, 2006

When everything is made to be broken

My oh my.

It's been a while huh? I didn't mean to be gone for so long. I've been so caught up with work, assignments, studies and the closing of family drama.

He's officially gone. Gone.
And now it's just the four of us. At first, I used to have nightmares of him coming back and tormenting us. And Dominic wasn't coping so well. I guess he's always hoped for things to work out. Or maybe he's just living in a disillusioned world, unwilling to face facts, wrapped up in the computer world of his.
As much as I was so relieved - a small tiny part of me felt a sense of hollow loss. It's so final, irretrievable. I don't understand it.
Funny, it would be easy to go back to my "bitter" self. The whole rage thing is admittedly very seductive. But I can't. I don't know why. I'm not so angry or even slightly masochistic - just dull. A little.
Peace of mind comes at a certain price though. We all have to work harder to hold the fort, cling to each other for support because god knows he's slandering all of us back in Singapore. But frankly, I don't care a damn.
It's so much better this way.

We're having a good time here. Really. It's hard yes, but we're all laughing and joking away. Dominic is happier than I've ever seen him. I think he's accepted it and put it behind him. I'd be lying if I said he's not battered and wounded. But he's on the road to recovery. And hopefully, he'd be blessed enough to have the friends I have and maybe even one day someone to heal him.
Sabbie is getting more cheekier each day, I swear she's getting a lot of it from Dominic.
But the ultimate transformation goes to my mom. She's joking around. And being silly. God, it's so weird to watch.
She's still a bit annoying - at times she refuses to let go of the "control reins" but yeah. It's amazing.

You know what's weird though? Aunt Adeline. She calls me every now and then, chatting. She's trying to get me to think about the possible scenario of another man in my mom's life. Maybe even get ME to persuade HER. Can you imagine? I feel like laughing silly.
I don't even know what to think. I know my aunt means well, she just wants my mom to start dating, nothing serious just have a little fun.
My mom was even "fishing" for my views on this matter - and not too subtley I might add. I honestly don't know what to think. All I know is that I'm trying my hardest to be strong. Not only to hold the fort but also have a life of my own.

We'll see what happens.

6 comments:

Girl said...

Phizz in DA House!!! Yo yo! Good to have you back sis... and nice new template! :) I hope that you're feeling okay about everything... I'm happy that this weight has finally been lifted off your shoulders. Not that it won't leave any scars... but then, you've been being really strong so far. Isn't it funny that despite everything being made to be broken, some things still manage to stay whole? Your spirit for one :) Just shows you what you're really made of...

Anonymous said...

Well, it's always nice to finish a book. I'm happy for all of you. See, I told you life gives you second chances! Ok so I didn't see the price on the chance but still, it's worth it in the end, right? You're good people and good people deserve good things...like news that I'll be in Perth for January if you're still keen to visit.

Uryale said...

Hey Shules!

Thanks babe. *hugs* You're so sweet. Surprisingly I'm fine. As in really fine. It feels right. I've wanted this for so long. Wanted peace ya know? I can sleep peacefully now - I used to keep my ear open for any "drama" or fights that might happen at night.
Now I can sleep even if the house was on fire!!
Mwwaahahahahahaha!

Beckie!

I want to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to try to come down on the first week on February.. can I stay at your place? Do you have room?
Let me know okay? I wanna make plans.. Shu.. you should come down too! Take a break, have a holiday!

Uryale said...

Oh! Shu... look out for something in your mail... hope you like it my dear sis :P Heh.

My template's a work in progress... I'm going to add in more stuff.. I figured a change is in order!

Girl said...

Hey guys! Is the first week of February Chinese New Year? I have to be with the family on Chinese New Year!

And don't sleep if the house is on fire! Something tells me it's not the best idea...

Anonymous said...

Actually, Chinese New Year isn't till the 18th and 19th of Feb of 2007...so it's like the seond or third week-ish. :D