Fears, Hopes and Dreams

"I think fear is a great way to lead people to god. Isn't fear a respectable way to influence people? It's actually how I mold the minds of today's youth. Fear. Screaming. Yeah there's crying, but they get over it. Builds character."
- Author "The Surfing Bartender"

I totally disagree with you and your attitude. Really, is believing something out of fear truly believing the essence of something?

I think humans are essentially (at least most of us) characterized by two great fears that other animals are protected from: the fear of life and the fear of death. Aren't we just comical?
Sure, we can sometimes also question with boldness even the existence of God; I'm sure he would approve the homage of "reason" than that of blind-folded fear.
It's interesting to see how people take "God" and live their lives, but this topic is for another day to discuss.

Where was I? Ah yes, fear.

A couple of hundred years ago (I think?) Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. Here is the man who discovered electricity. It's funny how we don't really listen to what he had to say. I'm sure you've come across so many quotes and sayings about fear and the need to act now. The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We've all learnt these proverbs in school, heard various poets, philosophers, our grandparents, even hearing songs and movies about how we need to seize the day. We can't pretend that we haven't been told.

Still, I think some of us have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what they really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

I'd have to say that the reason why we put things off has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo?

Yeah, I know that the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. Yeah, but sometimes fear tends to paralyse me.

What am I afraid of? Loads of things. Fear of rejection, at least I used to be. But I managed to get around that one. I've spent a good deal of my life, drawing lines, creating boxes and building fences. Most of the time, people just can't get past them.
But ya know, at some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.
But there are others…if you're willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.
I've gotten rid of some of those lines, but I think I'm going to keep some of them on, you have to.
What else?
Fear of intimacy. Even speaking about intimacy is frightening to me, being frightened about this is even more frightening. For me, intimacy is another word for "Here's my heart and soul - please grind them into a hamburger and enjoy".
It's something I can't get past, is it better this way?

I'm afraid of imperfection, confrontation, being incomplete and being empty. And yet so many unknown fears, fears I either don't realise or am too afraid to even voice out.
I'm afraid of knowing too much about my parents' financial affairs (amongst other aspects), because it hurts to have to see them in such a light, you question the person/persons that they are. They're no longer the person you can turn to or look up to. Instead, the roles are reversed.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of how your life would be. Be it the white dress, prince charming who would carry you to a castle on a hill. It doesn't even have to be a fairy tale, maybe a dream of yours.
You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming.
Eventually, you grow up one day, open your eyes and your fairy tale or dream disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.
I've always wondered if this is a right thing to do, to let a child believe in something that isn't true, or is never going to happen. Is it okay to let someone linger on in "fairy-land"?

Yet, At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.Isn’t that worth waiting and hoping for?

So which is which?

I'm not sure, but I hope to learn it along the way.